Only Time Will Tell
by bjseron
Summary: Brian and Justin spent a couple of happy weeks together until Justin vanished one day. Will time bring them back together or is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Justin's Bedroom

Justin leaned back on his bed and closed his eyes, smiling brightly, this had been the best few month of his life, that much was certain, he had finally had the guts to go down to Liberty Avenue. It had been more than he had ever hoped. He had met HIM, the most gorgeous man on earth, not only met him, no! The man had taken him home and they had spent the night in his loft fucking. Justin had been scared, yes, but the man had been surprisingly patient and gentle and between rounds they had actually talked about things other than sex. When the phone rang and the man had to get to the hospital to witness his son's birth, he had taken Justin with him. The morning after had been somewhat of a sat back, he had been told he was an insignificant fuck, but he knew better, what they had shared couldn't have been just like any other time. So he went to find the man a few days later and got his attention. The second night together had been everything the first had been and more. Justin was more bold and eager to experiment. The man had driven him to school in the morning, just like the first time he had said they were done: But Justin knew better now. He spent the whole day fantasizing about the man of his dreams and how he would get back in his bed and in his life. He managed to get to him two more times, he had looked for him at his best friend's house and followed him to Woody's, he even got a nipple ring for him. Although he told his best friend Daphne it had nothing to do with the guy. He didn't spend the night this time but the man of his dreams had dropped him off at his house late at night and hadn't protested too much when Justin leaned in to kiss him goodbye. So now he was lying on his bed, glowing and ever more certain that he was in love, in love with Brian Kinney.

That was the moment his father walked in the door. Justin had never seen him this angry in all his life. It was evident that he had been drinking, a lot! He stormed in and threw a photo in Justin's lab. "Who the fuck is this?", he bellowed and pointed to the picture of Brian and him. "uhh, that is..uhh" Justin didn't know what to respond, he couldn't tell his father about Brian, not when he was this angry.

"Justin I will not tolerate this behavior of yours, your mother and I have clearly given you too many liberties. You are grounded until you go to Dartmouth in the summer."

"But Dad, I told you I want to go to PIFA and it is not like you can complain about my grades, I scored 15 hundred on my SATs."

"I repeat, you will not leave this house other than to go to school, you will not spend anymore time flaunting this disgusting lifestyle of yours! You will turn yourself around …"

"Disgusting lifestyle?" Justin got up and in his father's face looking him straight in the eyes. "There is nothing disgusting about being gay dad, it is who I am and nothing you do can change that" He repeated the words Debbie had told him a few days before, hoping his father would understand and still love him. "My son is not gay" Craig shouted and that was the last thing Justin heard before it all went black.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: 

PIFA, Pittsburgh, three years later

„_Justin Taylor" _Justin took a deep breath and went up the three small steps on the stage to receive his diploma. It was as if a huge rock had been lifted from his heart. _Three years_ he thought to himself _Three fucking years_! He couldn't believe he had actually done it. He was finished with college and he had showed them, showed them all. But first of all he had proven to himself that he had made the right decision. Three years ago his father had beaten him badly, he had kept on hitting him and kicking him until his mother had called the police for help but when they had arrived they told them Justin had come home like this and they didn't know who had done it. He woke up in a private hospital room with broken bones and a scar on his head three weeks later. Most bruises had healed by then still when he looked in the mirror tears started to form in his eyes. His father had done this, his own father the man who was supposed to love him no matter what. Looking around the room Justin's eyes caught a large suitcase and a folder on top. He walked over, cringing in pain as his rips hurt with every movement. _JUSTIN_ was written across the envelope in his mother's handwriting, why would she need to write him, surely she would come and talk to him. Justin opened the envelope with shaking hands revealing a number of documents, his birth certificate, insurance, pass port and other folders. On top was a hand written letter:

_Justin, _

_You choose to live a life your father cannot tolerate and I cannot leave him for I have to think about Molly too, she is still so young. The folders contain everything you will need to get on with your life. You will be on our insurance until you leave the hospital and we will cover all medical costs concerning further treatment that are related to this accident._

ACCIDENT, his father beating him up was anything but an accident. He couldn't believe his mother would side with his asshole of a father.

_Your father and I are very sorry for loosing you. We hope that you will find the way back on the right path. I have enclosed a check over 10.000$ that should ensure you rent and food for the first couple of month. _

_Goodbye, Mom_

Justin let the letter fall down and was shaking, that was when the nurse came in. She gasped at first at the sight of Justin awake and out of bed. Then her training kicked in and she ordered him to retun to bed until the doctor had examined him. The emotional stress of the last hour came crushing down and Justin went back to a long sleep.

Three weeks later when he got out he had made a plan. The dreaded envelope included his acceptance to PIFA, he would ask them for a scholarship as he now had prove that his parents wouldn't pay his tuition.

Somehow despite all the odds, PIFA granted him a scholarship and he was able to obtain a freelance artist job with a small firm that provided him with enough income to pay the rent on an apartment and pay for food and art supplies although he often cut down on the food to afford the paint.

The initial problems he had had with his hand got less and less as Justin accepted the fact that he was now on his own and that he could handle it. He told himself that he didn't need parents if they didn't love him for who he was. At least he had Daphne, she often kept him company and she was all the friends he needed, at least she accepted him for who he was.

As he had no money to spare to go out clubbing his social life was next to nothing, he went to school and work and that was it. He thought about Brian a lot, just as Brian had promised on that first night no matter who he was ever with, he was always there, even when it was just him jerking off. Even after three years he could still picture every facial expression Brian was able to form, he knew his body well enough to paint it over and over again , although he kept those drawings and paintings hidden in a large box as they were too personal to share.

He kept track of the things that happened around Liberty Avenue through OUT the free gay newspaper and as he read about the Stockwell campaign the summer between his junior and senior year in college he just had to do something. So he used the printers at his freelance firm to create posters of protest that were highly appreciated in the GLBT community, less so by Stockwell himself. Justin was proud of himself, he was fighting back, he told himself and Daphne was proud too. She was the only one that new about his nightly activities, she had complained for days that he was looking too tired and he had to tell her about the posters before she decided to chain him to his bed, and she would have done that, of that Justin was sure, she was very protective of him. The only thing that bothered Justin about the reviews his posters got in OUT were that that was it, no one followed, noone rallied, nothing. Until those TV spots, the first time he saw them was late at night just about as he was going to turn off the TV, the black and white images, so different from his colorful posters, yet so much more powerful. Justin had known that Stockwell was a bastard but this, could this be true. Thankfully he had recorded the previous show including this advertisement he watched it over and over again. In the end it didn't matter if it was true, although he thought that it was definitely a possibility as Stockwell was the chief of police and he had the power to do almost anything. Justin was glad that someone had stood up and fought the fight with him although he had no idea who The Concerned Citizens for the Truth were. Justin thought that it was odd that they had never appeared in OUT before, nor asked for funds, but there was something else. 'for the truth' somehow that made him think of Brian, yeah, almost anything made him think of Brian but this rang a bell.

"_I am not a bad person, I just tell the truth even if it is uncomfortable for everyone. I have had to deal with enough lies in my life"_ Brian had said things like this or similar on numerous occasions during the many conversations they had had. Yes they talked, they talked a lot. Even though no one knew about it, all of Brian's friends only thought of Justin as his Boy toy that he used for sex and for sex only. Justin had always wondered how they could have been friends with Brian for so long and not know him at all. He thought they should have seen that Brian did not only use Justin for sex, after all he fucked him more than once, and not because he couldn't find anyone else to fuck but he choose Justin. Somehow Justin had managed to find out more about Brian than he possibly wanted to share just by listening and giving an impulse here or there. That is why he was almost certain that Brian was behind The Concerned Citizens for the Truth, somehow he knew and when he found out that Brian was no longer working at Vanguard all doubts had been erased. It was just too much of a coincidence. Justin was dreaming about going to Brian and finding out for sure but he just didn't know how. How was he going to approach the man again after almost three years. Brian hadn't been looking for him when his parents kicked him out so it was clear he didn't feel the same way as Justin did after all. Still Justin had no doubt that Brian had felt something, something more than lust towards the blond. So Justin did nothing, he kept preparing for graduation and finished off the last commissions for work. He had made up his mind, although he had had some successful art shows in the surrounding area under the name JT, he was not looking to be a fulltime painter. He loved his art but his paintings were always based on his view on the world, they were personal, he just couldn't produce them on demand. Working as a freelance artist for commissions was almost as much fun and he thought that he could really see himself working in advertising, especially after the success of his Stockwell posters, he was sure he could work well in an art department.

"Are you sure you want to work in advertising?, Are you not just projecting? I mean I know you miss Brian and…"

"It's not because of Brian, Daphne! I mean , maybe, a little, but I am sure I would enjoy it! After all I liked the freelance work, and I am sure I would have enough time to keep painting."

"I am sure" Daphne said raising an eyebrow, "it has nothing to do with the fact that there is a new agency in town that is conveniently owned by the love of your life."

Justin didn't know what to say, his mind drifted off as it often did when Daphne mentioned Brian,

"_You shouldn't let Vance get to you! You are so much better than them, you should get your own company!"_

"_Do you have any idea how much it would cost to build your own agency? I don't even have enough money to get the building!"_

"_Well I think you should do it, one day I mean, And I already have the perfect name for it!" _

"_You do huh?" _

"_Yes I do, you should call it Kinnetik"_

"_I am nowhere near being able to get my own agency"_

_But Justin saw a twinkle in Brian's eyes and knew that Brian was thinking the same way that he was, and he liked the name Justin had come up with, he was sure._

"_Well, I know that you can do it and you will, I have faith in you!" _

"_That is your problem Sunshine, you have too much faith in the wrong people!" _

"Earth to Justin!" Daphne's voice brought him back to the present.

"Have you heard back from any of the agencies yet"

Justin grinned wide "I have an interview with the art director of Kinnetik on Monday" His smile got huge. Although he was a little nervous about seeing Brian again, would he recognize him, would he even want him to work there? But Justin had to try his luck, he wanted to be with Brian, he knew that he was a naïve boy when he continuously told Brian he loved him, but he also knew that it was true, Brian was the love of his life, the naïve part was that he had told Brian, he should have known that that would cause Brian to pull away. He would not make the same mistake again. When he saw Brian again, he would let him make the first move and he would not settle for being Brian's fuck-buddy, he wanted to be his partner. He knew he might never be able to ask Brian for monogamy but he hoped that he would offer it one day on his own. Justin spend the weekend with Daphne just relaxing and talking he hadn't been able to be so relaxed in three years he finally felt like he was at that point in life where he should be. He was looking forward to the interview even though he hoped that Brian would not find out until he got the job. After all Brian might just think that he was stalking him again.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Monday morning Kinnetik

"These boards are for shit!" Brian yelled and slammed them down on his art director's desk.

"Why is it that you cannot produce boards the way I ask you too? Kinnetik stands for quality, we are different, we are new, we are sexy, these boards are nothing like what I asked for!"

"We are a little understaffed ever since we had to let Bill go, I am sure it will all be easier once we hired the new artist, Mr Kinney"

"When is he getting here?"

"I have scheduled an interview for 1pm, but I don't think we'll need to interview him for long his portfolio is fantastic, I will probably just go through the contract with him and then have him do some work to make sure his portfolio is really his."

"He is that good huh?"

"Yeah, I did some research and found out that he has done some work in advertising before, though just as a freelancer with a firm that provided Vanguard with graphic arts, he submitted a few works as samples, here is his portfolio, his name is Justin Taylor"

'Justin Taylor? I can't believe it, that little shit, what was he thinking, did he think he could just come back and work for me, or was it just a coincidence, Justin had left town three years ago'

Still Brian had never stopped thinking about him, the day he had found out Justin had left the Pitts, had left him, Brian had stayed at home and got drunk, no trick after Justin could ever satisfy the need that he had developed ever since meeting the blond although he would never admit that.

"_Taylor"_

"_Hello, this is Brian Kinney, I am looking for Justin, I am his.. ah, I am a friend"_

"_Justin doesn't live here anymore he moved to his grandparents in Maine" and with that the man on the phone had hung up. _

_Brian had always wondered how Justin could just leave him after telling him that he loved him over and over again, but then again who could ever really love him, he was a mess, a royal mess!_

"I want to sit in on that interview" When Tom his art director raised a brow Brian quickly added

"I am done with the crap the art department produces and despite the fact that I have given you free reign down here on who to hire I still have final say!"

If this Justin was really his Justin he had to make sure he got the job, O god did he really just think about him as his? Brian shook his head and walked back to his office. He couldn't concentrate all morning he kept thinking about Justin, their first time, Brian had never been so gentle with any of his tricks. Yes he always made sure they enjoyed themselves, but with Justin it was different, he wanted Justin to experience pleasure that no one else could give him. He wanted to mark him in his own way. If Brian hadn't made it his rule not to sleep with his employees, he would have gone to find someone to fuck to get rid of his raging hard on, and the images of Justin beneath him, although he feared that they wouldn't go away. The truth was that Justin was the only trick he had ever fucked more than once and as a result he was the only one Brian had fucked and talked to. He knew Justin, or he though he did, Brian reminded himself. He was going to find out why he left after that night especially without saying a word and why hadn't he called him when he got back to the Pitts. He had to find out without sounding like a deserted boyfriend and then he had an idea. He would take him to the Diner for dinner and Debbie would find out for him. Brian smiled at that thought and when Cynthia knocked on his door to remind him it was almost 1, he had regained a certain kind of composure.

JUSTIN POV

Kinnetik

'I can't believe he put his agency in the old bathhouse, but then it is so Brian' Justin thought and smiled, Brian, he was going to see Brian, his hands were shaking, and he had to take a couple of deep breaths before walking into the building. Justin was wearing a pair of tightly fitting jeans, and a dark blue sweater that made his eyes seem even more blue, those two items were the only cloth he owned that were fitting for a job interview and he hoped it would be enough. Brian always wore suits but then again Brian looked gorgeous in a suit, Justin on the other hand somehow looked overdressed, unlike Brian who could pull off a suit in a gym.

"Justin Taylor, I am here for an interview with the head of the art department!" Justin said in a firm voice to the receptionist.

"Right this way Mr Taylor if you could wait a few minutes, Tom will be right there with you"

Justin walked into the rather large conference room, not knowing where to sit he turned around to look at the room. As he faced the back wall, his breath caught in his lungs, on the wall there were four paintings, they were a series, four paintings of a dance club, blue and green light surrounding the two figures in the middle, dancing so closely that it was hard to identify where one began and the other one ended. The series made it look as if the figures were actually moving. The small JT in the right hand corner was almost invisible. Justin hated artists who had to mark their work too obviously as it ruined the flow of the art most of the time. Justin smiled, so Brian had bought them, he was so glad, he had hated to sell these but at the time he needed money and when someone offered 10,000$ for them he just couldn't refuse, it meant he could afford tuition and his living for another year. Justin was interrupted in his thoughts as the door opened and in walked a nice looking man in his 40s holding what looked like his portfolio.

"Hello I am Tom, the art director. Why don't we have a seat."

Justin went to sit down on the chair Tom had pointed to, he was glad he did so quickly because he would have fallen over at the next words Tom uttered.

"Mr. Kinney will be joining us in a minute"

'Brian he was going to be in the interview' Justin's face went white and he had to do his best not to hyperventilate

"Don't worry, he barks more than he bites"

"What a nice introduction, Tom" came a voice from the door.

Justin jumped a little in his seat at that oh so familiar voice. 'How could it still make him feel so good, so safe, after all he hadn't spoken to Brian in three years. When the blue eyes met hazel ones, Justin knew that Brian recognized him. But there was something more, could it be anger?

Brian POV

Kinnetik

'I can't believe it's really him, God, he looks even better than I remembered, his hair, those lips, oh god, he had to sit down, as the thought of Justin's lips on his own and then on another, more hidden part of his anatomy made Brian react immediately. He hoped Justin didn't notice, he had no right to see what kind of power he still held over him.

"Well, shall we begin" Brian said without introducing himself

"Sure, So Mr Taylor, this is Brian Kinney, CEO and owner of Kinnetik, we would like to go over some minor points in the contract and than we would like you to give us a sample of your creative ability"

"Ok"

Hum, one word answers, he is nervous, so I make him nervous, his heart jumped a little, although he would deny it, he liked the thought that he could still make Justin nervous. As Tom went over the contract Brian focused on Justin, getting reacquainted with the view, he looked a little older although he still looked like he was barely legal. His posture has changed; he was holding himself up well. When Justin demanded changes to the contract that would allow for him to be able to refuse clients should he believe them to be against his values I looked up.

"I know…, I mean I heard that Vanguard worked with Stockwell, and I would have hated to work for a homophobic prick and while I know that Kinnetik has different values than Vanguard I also know that it is hard to keep a business going if refusing clients of such caliber. That's why I would like the clause, and I want to be honest I would rather quit than working for someone that is like stockwell"

Brian smiled at that, if Justin only knew that that was the reason why he was fired from Vanguard and founded Kinnetik.

" I am afraid Mr Taylor we do not usually incorporate clauses like that.."

"Its ok Tom, put that down but note that he has to explain to me why before he does it"

Justin looked at him for the first time then, really looked at him. Brian could have sworn that Justin knew it all, he had always been able to read him, better than anyone.

"Ah, uh Ok, I guess I will give this down to legal and they can make the changes while we go and see how you work. Tom got up and Justin and Brian followed him. Brian walked behind Justin, he just had to keep looking at his butt, he was just perfect, the perfect shape and the way those jeans were tight in the right places. Thank God he wasn't wearing one of those hideous cargo pants he used to wear all the time. When Tom stopped in front of his office Brian was so deep in his fantasies that he bumped into Justin from behind. Justin gulped as Brian put his hands on the blond's hips to steady himself.

"Sorry Sunshine" Brian murmured into his ear so quietly that only Justin could hear him.

God how he wanted to be with the blond, he wanted to hold him, hold him? Brian shook his head to get rid of those lesbianic thoughts. Brian Kinney does not want to hold people.

"Alright here is a concept for a new campaign we want you to transform Mr Kinney's notes into an image." Tom said as he handed Justin the notes for the board Brian had complained about earlier this morning.

"You can use all the equipment available and if you have any questions just ask me" How long do you think this will take you?"

"Rough Draft or finished product?"

"Rough Draft of course"

"Give me an hour"

Brian raised his brow, could he do it in an hour, he usually gave his artists over a day to produce the rough draft.

"You think you can do it that quickly?"

"Its not like I have to come up with an idea, you did that for me, all I have to do is draw them up and I saw you have the latest software so I am sure I will be able to do it."

Justin smiled and Brian was sure he had to make another trip to the bathroom if he kept that up.

"Well than come to my office at three!"

With that Brian turned around and returned to his office. Cynthia had a list of calls and emails he needed to take care of and the hour was over much faster than he thought.

"Brian, Tom and the new artist are here"

Brian smiled as he looked at the clock, 2:55, Justin had finished early

"Let them in"

"So Mr. Taylor show me what you got" Brian said, fully aware of the sexually innuendo only intensified by a tongue-in-cheek smirk. Justin blushed, a sight Brian loved, Justin had always been easy to blush

"I, uh, I made two posters, one in color, but I don't think it will look good in black and white so I changed it a little so it would work in newspapers as well, uh here.."

Justin said, nervously handing over the prints.

Brian looked at them for a moment, he couldn't believe it, Justin had adapted his ideas perfectly, and the results were even better than anything his art department had produced in years, more than that it was exactly what Brian had envisioned. Brian had to smile a little, he should have known, this was Justin after all, he had always been able to read him, understand what he wanted.

Brian was brought back to reality when Tom let out a sigh.

"well what do you think?"

"I think that the art department is in deep shit trouble!"

"huh?"

"Mr Taylor just raised the bar of what I expect from you 100%"

"You are hired Justin." Justin let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding and beamed at Brian. God that smile, Brian had missed that smile more than he knew. For a moment it was as if nothing else existed except for him and Justin. Justin, he was going to see him everyday from now on. Was he going to be able to handle that? He wanted to cross the room and devour him, but he had to wait. Justin was the one who left, he was the one who had to make the first move, wait, Brian always made the first move, well Justin had to show that he wanted him, had to explain why he left. Brian had no doubt that Justin wanted him as badly as he did. As well as Justin could read him, Brian was not bad at reading Justin either, the short breath and the slight fog in Justin's eyes were enough for Brian to know that Justin just imagined him naked.

"Congratulations Mr Taylor, when can you start?"

"What? Uh, I guess now, when do you want me?"

"You can start tomorrow!"

"Cynthia!"

"Yes Boss"

"Justin needs an office, when can it be ready?"

"Uh an office?"

"Yes an office and call legal and tell them to change his title and pay to assistant art director so he needs to have an office!"

"Sure thing Boss" Cynthia smiled at him, Brian had no doubt she knew who Justin was, somehow she always knew everything.

"Tom you still have full authority, but I trust you will show Justin the ropes, especially when it comes to the business part, I trust Justin has no experience in that." He said looking at Justin

"No, I don't"

"I want you two to consult each other on the creative aspects and compare ideas before distributing the projects. And Justin", God how he love to say that name, he loved it way too much "I trust you to translate my notes to the other artists"

"I will do my best!"

Justin POV

Assistant art director, he was stunned, Brian had always said he thought he was talented, and Brian was no one who would just give someone a job out of sentimental reasons.

"So, how was it? Did you see him?"

"Oh God Daphne, he is, I mean,"

"Yeah I get it, he is the love of your life, now on to the good stuff, did you two fuck yet?"

"Daphne!"

"What? Don't tell me you wouldn't if he offered. So you got the job?"

"Yeah, as of tomorrow I will be Kinnetik's new assistant art director"

"What?"

"I know weird huh? Brian loved the work I did so he promoted me right away?

"What did the art director say?"

"Tom? At first I was worried that he might be upset but he looked relieved, I guess he was sick of dealing with Brian alone, and I think he knows that I might be creative, I have no idea about the business aspect of things."

"So how was Brian?"

Justin closed his eyes for a second then smiled

"He called me Justin!"

"yeah well, that is your name"

"No Daph, he called me JUSTIN, God the way he looked at me when he said it. He still wants me!"

"Congratulations, so when are you going to get him."

"That is the problem, I don't want to fuck the boss, I mean I do but, I need to show the artists that I deserve the position before I can be associated with Brian, and besides I want more than a fuck this time, I want it all"

"So you are not going to go after him?"

"No not yet, I need to find out first what he thinks about me or if I am still just the trick that wouldn't go away"

"By the way you always described him to me you were always more than that!"

"I know that, the question is, does he know."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: 

Liberty Diner

Brian POV

"Good morning!"

"Oh my, I think I am still dreaming, Brian Kinney is greeting us in public no less and before he had coffee" Emmett said and raised a hand to his forehead

"I have you know Honeycutt, I already had a dose of caffeine this morning!"

"Don't call me Honeycutt"

"Deb, can we get some service?"

"Be right there!"

"Brian where were you last night?" Brian sighed and pinched his nose, Michael was such a whiner

" I had to work!" The truth was Brian didn't feel like going out with the gang, he spent the night at home thinking about Justin, which made it impossible to go out as these thoughts resulted in several sessions of jerking off. He had cum harder than he had in years just thinking about him, and knew he just had to have him again. Although he would never admit it, sex with Justin was always so much more, better, hotter, longer, more intense…

"You always have to work these days, you hardly ever come with us!"

"Well, Mickey, In case you haven't heard I built my own company, and I have much more responsibilities now. I can't just stop and let others do the work!"

"But.."

"it is true Michael" Ted added "there are a lot of things a CEO has to do"

Brian had come to appreciate Ted, he was very professional and he did a great job with his finances. And he had learned to keep his mouth shut, Ted knew about Justin and his new job and while he might not have made the connection between the name and the person, he would not have said anything even if he knew. Ted never told anyone about what went on in the company except for public knowledge.

"But you have to have time for your best friend"

Jesus, Brian thought, Michael was never going to get it.

"I might be able to go on Saturday" although Brian wanted much rather to spend the day with Justin but then again, maybe Justin would be there he had always loved to dance and now that he was back… Brian smiled at the thought of being able to dance with Justin again, holding him close, grinding up against him.

"BRIAN!" Brian looked at Michael again who still wasn't satisfied with Brian's answer.

"When can you come to the store? So much has changed you should see it I redecorated and sorted through everything."

"That's great Mickey but I have to go now I have a meeting," With that Brian drowned the rest of his coffee and left the Diner.

"What's with him today?" Emmett asked looking at Ted

"How should I know? The man is a mystery!" He said and got up. He thought he had an idea about what was with Brian, he had filled out the form for the new employee, Justin Taylor, the name had been familiar and when he talked to Cynthia she told him that Brian was praising the new blond. That was when Ted new, Justin was back in Brian's life and it looked as if this time he was here to stay.

Tuesday Morning Kinnetik

Justin was standing in front of the old bath house once again marveling at the renovations. Brian had always had a sense of style and the mix of keeping the character of the building while maintaining a professional image was achieved brilliantly. He smiled to himself he hadn't been this happy in years. He was back on track he had a job that paid more than he could have hoped for while only working during the day and having time for his art on the weekends. Breathing in one more time he opened the door and got to work.

Brian was pacing in his office he just had gotten a call from a sportswear distributor that had lost influence over the American market and was hoping that he could change that since he had done so well for Brown athletics. He had told them to give him two weeks to come up with a campaign worthy of pitching and they would then see if they could hire him.

"Brian?"

"Yeah"

"Justin is here to see you!"

Justin, god he couldn't stop thinking about him maybe it was a bad idea to hire him after all if he couldn't concentrate on his work.

"Let him in"

The door opened slowly, funny, Justin used to waltz into the rooms as if he belonged there, no not rooms, his Loft. Somehow he had managed to weasel his way into his life and his home leaving a mark on it.

"Ah uhm, Mr Kinney?"

"Its Brian, Justin" he loved to say the name.

"Brian" God Brian loved to hear his name coming from Justin's lips.

"Tom send me with the revised boards we managed to change so far" he held out a hand with a stack of papers. "maybe you could tell me what you think and we could work from there and I have a few questions regarding some accounts, that is if you have time."

"I will make time, sit down"

"Cynthia! Hold all calls unless its important"

"So how was your first morning?"

"Productive, I have a lot to read up on, I still have some accounts open we focused on the more urgent ones today."

They spent an hour in Brian's office and went over all the accounts and Brian's wishes for them. As Brian had expected the revised boards were all perfect and he had no ideas for improvement. Justin surprised him when he asked about all remaining accounts, he had done his homework.

"I will get you the new boards on Friday"

"keep up the work and youll have to take a month of because we run out of accounts for you to work on. It has time, Wednesday morning will suffice!"

Justin was glad he knew that Brian liked his work and the way he did it. The hidden compliment didn't go unnoticed.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Thanks for the reviews, especially for the hint about punctuation, I really hadn't noticed and sadly, my writing program does not remind me about those mistakes. I will go through the text again and pay extra attention to that. **

Chapter 5: 

Despite the fact that both Brian and Justin obviously lusted for one another, the next few weeks passed without anything happening between the two. They did give each other hints but neither acted on them.

Justin and Brian worked well together. Justin always understood what Brian tried to express in his notes he became the person to go to in the art department and hardly anyone asked Tom about the accounts anymore. But Tom couldn't be mad at Justin, they had become real friends and if he was honest he knew that Justin should be the art director but who was he to suggest his own demotion. He was happy to stick with the budgeting of projects and supervising the department.

Justin had regular hours that he almost always managed to keep, there was no need for extra hours, because he had been given the ideas and produced the art quickly although he managed to include his own ideas and expressed his unique creativity in the paintings he did at home. He was more inspired than he had been in years and he had managed to get 10 paintings done that he planned to present in an upcoming show in New York that he had landed prior to graduation. He was excited about it but he had yet to talk to Brian about taking a few days off to be able to set everything up in New York. He decided that he would worry about that in May when the time was right that was still six month away.

"Justin?" Justin's eyes met hazel ones and he just couldn't look away.

"Huh?"

"You should call it a day! You have been working non stop on all the accounts and we are way ahead of our plan."

"Ok, I will just finish this new animation."

Brian leaned in and looked over his shoulder and Justin could breath in his scent, the scent that was so uniquely Brian and that gave him an instant hard on.

"You are really good with the computer, I always thought you preferred the traditional techniques."

"You remember?" Justin beamed his big smile at him.

Damn! Brian thought, he shouldn't have said that but it was true, he remembered everything Justin had ever told him.

Brian didn't answer but just raised a brow.

"I used to, but after what happened with my father I couldn't move my hand for a while so I used a computer."

"What do you mean? What did that jerk do?" Brian clenched his hands to fists and bit his teeth together if that asshole had put a hand to his Justin.

"I really don't want to talk about it."

Justin shut down the computer and got up.

"Justin!" Justin stopped as he heard the urgency in Brian's voice.

"I am headed to the Diner for dinner, you hungry?"

"Meet you outside in 15 minutes?"

"Sure."

Kinnetik Entrance 15 min later

"You still got the Jeep!" Justin said smiling as he got in on the passenger side.

"As long as they haven't made a better car!"

After that, they fell into silence but it wasn't awkward, rather it was comfortable. Brian loved that about Justin, he could talk like a waterfall not even stopping for air, but he could also just sit there and say nothing when Brian needed it and he had always had a sixth sense for when Brian did, just like now.

Brian had second thoughts about bringing Justin. What if the gang was there? He was sure that Michael at least would recognize Justin and Emmett had doted on him whenever he tagged along. But while Brian knew that Emmett would love to see Justin again, Michael would be more than pissed to find that he was back. His thoughts were interrupted as they left the car and entered the diner together. Brian didn't see anyone and they moved towards the back.

The Diner was busy but the last booth was always free for them, everyone knew that it was their booth. When Justin moved to get in with his back to the door, a man passed behind them pressing Brian into Justin. Brian had to hold on to Justin's waist so he wouldn't fall.

Justin's body reacted immediately, the current erupting from Brian's hand sent shivers down his spine and he was sure Brian would see that he blushed as he looked directly into those eyes. Those gorgeous hazel eyes now with flecks of gold glowing with something that Justin could not identify, it wasn't pure lust, could it be longing? As Brian removed his hand slowly and muttered "Sorry!" Justin was certain that it may just have been surprise and that he was interpreting too much into the situation. Brian moved to sit in front of Justin.

"So what are your plans for the weekend, I haven't seen you in Babylon."

So Brian had noticed, Justin smiled on the inside while maintaining a straight face.

"Well I spend most my weekends on my art, I have to finish 30 paintings for a show in 6 month."

"Your own show?"

"Yeah, I won an award at PIFA and it included a solo show in New York."

"That's great Justin, you always dreamed of New York!"

"Well, not anymore, the art world is so fake, all those people who suck up to everyone, it is not for me, I like to paint when I feel like it, not when I have to produce something. For me that wouldn't be art, that would be work. I had enough of those stuck up idiots in my classes at PIFA, that's why I pressed to get a show next year instead of this month it would have been too much stress."

"What do you mean your classes at PIFA?" Brian was pissed Justin had gone to PIFA and never went to see him? Why? Why had he not come to Babylon or the Diner or anywhere near Liberty Avenue?

"Well I…"

"Sunshine you are back!" Justin was interrupted by Debbie's scream.

She pulled him out of the booth into a bone crashing hug.

"So you here to visit the parents? How long can you stay? When are you going back to Maine?"

"Maine? What?"

"You do live in Maine or did you move?"

"I never lived in Maine, Debbie!" Justin was confused now, why did she think that and if Debbie thought that, Brian must have thought that too. Is that why he didn't try to find him? But Justin couldn't finish his thoughts as they were interrupted again.

"BRiaann" Michael whined from the door and came rushing to them.

"Where were you? I called you like ten times today! I have to tell you about this new comic!" Then he looked at his mother and Brian who both looked dumb founded at Justin

"What is he doing here? Stalking you again? Get lost kid! Go back to Maine or whereverthefuck!" Michael pulled on Justin's sleeve.

"What the fuck is everyone talking about Maine for?" Justin was visibly upset now and he shook of Michael's arm with so much force that he almost fell over.

"Well your parents told Brian you moved there," Debbie said, wondering if they had lied to him and if they had, why had Justin not come back to them. Brian had been really sad for a while, Debbie had known from the first day that Justin had the potential to be the one for Brian.

"Well if they said so it must be true huh?" Justin couldn't deal with this now, not here, not in front of everyone so he jumped out of the booth and to the door. He was halfway down the street when Brian caught up with him and held his arm.

"Justin!"

They looked at each other for a moment both hurt and confused.

"Lets go talk!" Brian said as he pulled him to the Jeep and drove him to the loft.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: 

"Lets go talk!" Brian said as he pulled him to the Jeep and drove him to the loft.

This is not how Justin wanted to go back to the loft. What would Brian do if he found out the truth? Brian pulled the heavy door open and put his wallet and key down before he turned to Justin.

"Where were you for the past three years?"

"Why do you care? It's not like you went looking for me!"

"What are you talking about? I went to your school but you weren't there, I called your parents and I called your cell, I even tried to get Daphne but her fucking parents wouldn't take my calls and when your son of a bitch of a father finally answered, I had to find out from them that you went to Maine without telling me, without saying a word. You just left me!" Brian was so mad he had thrown all care out the window.

Justin saw that Brian was hurt and he knew why, Brian had always been left alone by the people who were supposed to love him, Justin's anger vanished, he stepped closer to Brian and put a hand on his cheek.

"I didn't leave you! I could never do that! My parents lied! I never left Pittsburgh."

"Then why did you not come back if you were still in the Pitts? Got fed up with me?"

Brian pulled his head back, he was mad now, worse than before.

"No I…"

"What, lost your tongue?"

"No I just, after the hospital I needed to make it on my own and I didn't want you to, I don't know I wanted to but I… Brian" Justin moved closed again.

"What are you talking about hospital?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well tough luck, you decided to come back, you need to explain yourself."

"I don't need to explain myself to anyone! You are not my boyfriend or partner for that matter!"

"I am your boss!"

"Oh you want to play that card? Fine, I quit"

"You can't quit!"

"Why not? Because you say so? I am done with doing what anyone tells me to do Brian! I made that decision after my father beat me half to death and then disowned me, you were right the only person I need is me."

Brian opened his mouth to say something but he couldn't, his father beat him? God he wanted to hold Justin to comfort him. Where were those feelings coming from? And then the anger returned. If he ever got his hands on Craig Taylor. Brian looked up at Justin again, no matter what the blond said, he was strong but he looked so sad. He was not like Brian, he still believed in love and he didn't understand how his parents stopped. Brian knew how to deal with a sad Justin.

"Justin," he took Justin's hand and pulled him down on the couch next to him and then put his hand in his neck. "Why did your father beat you? When?"

Justin tried to stop the tears from falling but then they just came. He cried for the first time, he hadn't even been able to cry with Daphne. But this wasn't Daphne or a therapist, this was Brian and despite what Brian kept saying to everyone about feelings and tears he had always been there for Justin and it always seemed less drastic in his arms. When the tears stopped falling Justin began to speak, he was glad Brian gave him the time to reflect and didn't push it.

"It was after we, after the night, you know?" Justin blushed, that night had been amazing and so hot.

"After you drove me home, my dad found out and he was drunk, and he told me to stop seeing you and I said I wouldn't and then I said he couldn't change me being gay and he snapped and I don't remember anything after that." Justin felt Brian tense when he described the beating he knew Brian hated nothing more than abusive fathers and the fact that Craig was one, confirmed Brian's fears that some fathers could turn on their kids no matter how happy their childhood was.

"You showed him now didn't you!" Brian said with pride in his voice.

"I had a great teacher!" Justin smiled.

"You sure did!" Brian smirked.

They looked at each other, Justin was so glad that Brian didn't ask for more information and that he understood that he had needed to do it on his own. When Brian's lips met his, he stopped thinking and just felt.

Brian was in heaven, he was kissing Justin again and just kissing him made him feel so much more than fucking any trick ever did. Not that he would admit that.

Justin moaned when Brian pulled him closer so that he was straddling him. They were lost in their own world Brian was touching him everywhere memorizing every part of his body as Justin unbuttoned Brian's shirt. He needed to be closer, this was not enough, he sighed in frustration as he couldn't get the buttons open because he was trembling so much. Brian chuckled at that and moved his hand to help him when they were interrupted by the phone.

"Fuck!" Not letting go of Justin Brian reached for the phone.

"Kinney"

"What? Linds?" Brian's face was expressionless and Justin couldn't understand what Lindsay was saying

"What happened?" Brian went pale.

"I'll be right there!"

Brian tuned to Justin "I have to go."

"What's wrong?"

"I… Gus… I have to go to the hospital!"

"Let me drive." Justin got up and took the key from Brian who wasn't arguing.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: 

Allegheny Hospital

"Brian Kinney, I am here to see my son Gus."

"You have to wait here, he is still in surgery."

"Surgery? What happened?"

"Brian!" Lindsay called from behind them.

They rushed to her, she had a large bandage on her face and her clothes were torn in some places.

"God Linds, what happened?"  
>"We were in an accident, I don't know how it happened, God Brian Mel, she … Oh God!" Lindsay broke down in tears and began shaking uncontrollably in Brian's arms.<p>

Brian looked at Justin, he was scared. Did this mean Mel had died? Justin looked around and when he saw a doctor he called him over.

"I think we need help! Can you give her something to calm down? We are here to see Gus Peterson Kinney!"

The doctor approached them and then asked the nurse for Lindsay's chart. After a while he gave her a shot and helped Brian to put her back on the bed.

"She should sleep for a while, I tell the nurse to check on her from time to time. You said you are here for Gus Kinney?"

"Yeah, I am his father, what happened? There was another women with them where is she?"

"I am sorry, I only know of Gus and Ms Peterson over here, they were brought in about 2 hours ago, your son is still in surgery he suffered from a broken arm, a concussion, and we had to fight internal bleeding. Right now the doctors are setting the arm right, we are certain at this point that he pulls through unless there are further complications."

"What are you talking about complications?" Brian was mad, he needed to see Gus, make sure he was ok.

"Brian!" Justin said calmly and put a hand on Brian's arm. Justin could feel Brian relax slightly.

"When do you think they will be finished doctor?" Justin addressed the doctor.

"Well, it shouldn't be long now but I can't give you a definite answer. A nurse will come and tell you."

"Thank you!" "Brian come on, lets wait over there, we need to call the others." Brian moved with Justin but didn't say anything. He was scared, more scared than he had ever been before. Not even when his father had beaten him half to death. Nothing compared to this fear, he didn't even think about Melanie, or calling the others, he could only think about Gus.

"I am looking for Lindsay Peterson?" Justin looked up when he heard someone asking for Lindsay, when he saw that it was a cop he went to talk to him. Brian didn't seem to notice anything.

"Excuse me sir? We are here for Ms Peterson as well, we were wondering if you could tell us what happened?" Justin gestured to Brian.

"I'd rather talk to Ms Peterson first."

"She is sleeping we had to medicate her."

"Did you check her through first? Took blood?"

"Of course, it is standard procedure!"

"Good, I need a full report on that as soon as possible."

"Sure."

Justin wondered what might have happened why would the police need Lindsay's blood?

"Sir? Can you tell us what happened? Was there another woman in the car? A brunett?"

"You family?"

"No, but, uh, Brian is the father of the boy who was in the accident."

"I can tell him then, where can I find him?"

"Brian!" Brian looked up at Justin slowly. "News?"

"No, but the officer here knows what happened."

"I understand you are the boy's father Mr?"

"Kinney, Brian Kinney" Brian stood up.

"There was an accident it involved your son, Ms Peterson and a Ms Marcus. We are sorry, but Ms Marcus was dead on impact."

Justin took a deep breath no wonder Lindsay was so shaken up.

"Was she driving?" Brian asked

"No sir, Ms Peterson was driving, the car was hit on the passenger side, we suspect that Ms Peterson didn't see the other car, he was speeding and had no headlights."

"What about the other driver?" Justin couldn't help but ask, and hoped that Lindsay hadn't killed him too.

"He died in the hospital, I need to get back to work if you have any more questions please call the precinct."

"Sure, thank you."

"Oh God Brian, Mel, we need to call Debbie and the others."

"Can you?" Brian handed him his phone, he needed to wrap his head around this, Lindsay was always so careful, how could she not have seen it. He zoned out again thinking about Gus.

"Debbie, hello, this is Justin, yeah I am calling from Brian's phone, no, Debbie listen, we are at the hospital, no Brian is fine, no I am ok, Debbie! Its Mel and Lindsay and Gus. Can you come here? I will call the others."

"Emmett? Hey, listen I am at the hospital with Brian I can't get Michael, Gus was hurt and Lindsay and Mel, can you get Ted and come here?"

"Mr Kinney?"

Both Brian and Justin looked up hopefully at the doctor who had just called for Brian.

"Yeah?" Justin had never heard Brian talk in a tone like this. He sounded scared and at the same time hopeful. Justin understood if the doctor was going to give him bad news he didn't want to hear them.

"Your son got out of surgery and is now in the wake up room. We were able to still the internal bleeding; it seems that no vital organs were hurt. However, he does have a broken arm and a tear in his stomach. He will have to stay in the hospital for at least a week because he wont be able to eat and we have to feed him through an IV. But we are hopeful that everything will heal fine and he wont have lasting damage."

Brian let out a breath and sat back down. His son was going to be ok that was all that mattered now.

"When can we see him?"

"You can go to him right now and be there when he wakes up so he wont be too scared I am sure he is still shaken up because of the accident."

"When we move him to the new room you can stay with him if you want, the nurse will take you up now."

"Thank you!"

Brian and Justin followed the nurse and when they entered the Gus' room they were both shocked at the sight of him. Although he was covered in blankets his head had bruises and small cuts.

"He looks so small, I mean smaller…" Brian didn't know how to deal with this. He had never wanted to be a father, he had been too afraid to become like his own but when Gus was born he couldn't help but love the boy. The first time he held him it was nothing like he had ever felt before, he instantly knew that he would do anything for this little kid, his kid.

They sat in silence for about an hour, Brian had held Justin's hand when they had walked in and had not let go of it. Justin understood that he needed the connection to see that it was not just some terrible nightmare, he hoped that Brian held his hand because it was him but he feared at the same time he would have done that with anyone. But all that didn't matter now. All that mattered for Justin was that Brian needed him and he would do anything for Brian.

"Mmmmoo"

"Gus?" Brian leaned over his son, carefully stroking the side of his face.

Gus slowly opened his eyes, they fluttered for a while and then he opened them completely.

"Hey there sonny boy."

"Daddy?"

"I am here, don't worry, you are ok."

"Where's mommy?"

"She is sleeping right now in another room."

"You had an accident and the doctors needed to heal you and mommy!"

"I hurt daddy!"

"I'll go get a doctor!" Justin declared so that Brian could stay with Gus.

When Justin stepped out in the hallway he heard Debbie's loud screeching voice. He let out a sigh, he didn't want to be the one to tell them everything, nonetheless he walked towards where the voice was coming from.

"Justin!" Emmett saw him first, "Oh my God what happened?"

"Yeah what happened this asshole here wont tell us anything!"

"Excuse me doctor, this is the rest of our family, could you send someone to check on Gus he just woke up."

The doctor was glad to escape the crazy Lady in front of him. "I will check on him right away."

As the doctor walked towards Gus' room Justin turned to face the questioning faces of Emmett, Ted, and Debbie.

"Where is Michael?"

"We couldn't reach him, his cell was off, we left a message, what happened? how's Gus and the girls?"

"Well, Gus is doing better, he just got out of surgery an hour ago. He has a broken arm and a tear in his stomach which will mean he wont be able to eat for a couple of weeks. But the doctor said he should make a full recovery."

"Thank God! What about the girls?"

"Lindsay should be fine, she was in shock so they had to give her medication to make her sleep, she has a few scratches. But… uh… Mel… she… uh….God. Mel didn't survive"

None said a thing, they just stood there looking at Justin with flustered faces.

"She, she died?" Debbie finally asked and all Justin could do was nod.

"Justin?" Justin heard Brian's weak voice coming from behind him.

"I am here, did Gus go back to sleep?"

"Yeah he…."

"Brian!" Debbie always had to get involved; she went over and crushed Brian in a hug.

"How's Gus?"

"Confused, drowsy, I want to talk to Lindsay before I tell him about Mel. Thanks for coming but there is nothing to do now. I don't know how to get a hold of Mel's family. Ted?"

"I got that Brian, I have her information with the financial documents, we have to see if Lindsay knows anything about arrangements for a funeral."

While they were talking, Justin had moved closer to Brian and put a hand on the small of his back, slowly rubbing circles with his thumb. Brian relaxed more and more.

"There is nothing else to do tonight. I want to stay with my son tonight, just in case he wakes up, he seemed a little scared."

"If you give me your keys, I will get back to the loft and get you a few things to stay overnight. Debbie can you bring something for Lindsay in the morning, she seemed pretty out of it today and I am sure she doesn't want to go home right away."

None argued with Justin, they all accepted his leading role, even Brian who was usually the one in charge. Emmett was the only one that noticed that Justin was touching Brian and that he had agreed to give Justin his key, not even Michael was allowed in the jeep anymore. He hoped that that meant that Justin would stay, he had always suspected that Brian had more feelings for Justin, he was always different with him. Even if he said cruel things, he would always watch for Justin's reaction and Brian never did that, he said what he said and moved on. It had always seemed to Emmett as if Brian was testing Justin to see if he could keep up with him. And it seemed like he could no matter what had made him leave, he was back and Justin still looked at Brian with the same love in his eyes that Emmett had seen three years before. It was just a little more mature, it was not only adoration, it was deeper, it seemed like Justin knew Brian on a level no one else did not even Michael. Oh, Michael was not going to like that Justin was back.

Justin took the keys from Brian and was glad that he had given them to him without a fight, it used to be that he wouldn't let Justin anywhere near the driver side of his car.

The drive to the loft was quick, it was after all located very close to the city center. Justin always thought it was ironic that Liberty Avenue was so close to the center of the city and yet formed its own little universe. Justin pulled open the heavy metal door and he felt home. After the first night with Brian he had wanted nothing more than to return to this place and be with Brian. He loved the open spaces and the windows were just made for an artist, natural light all day long. He smiled imagining his easel and paint supplies next to the Italian designer furniture. Justin loved them but he also hoped for Brian that he would one day see that he didn't have to prove to the world that he had done it by spending his money on a table that was no better than one made by Pittsburgh craftsmen.

Justin shook his head, he needed to find stuff for Brian, get his mind back to the task. He knew where Brian kept his things so the packing went quickly, even after all these years Brian had not changed a thing. He was such a neat freak. Justin was almost out the door when he remembered he had forgotten the socks so he went back and pulled open the bottom drawer right next to the bed. What he saw there forced him to sit on the bed or he would have fainted. He felt dissy. He hesitantly stretched out one arm and reached for the picture that was laying right next to the socks. It was a drawing, neatly framed in blue. Anyone else may have thought it was just so Brian to keep a naked drawing of himself in the drawer next to the bed but Justin recognized the picture immediately it was the first of his art he ever sold and Brian had bought it. That somehow made it even more special to Justin, Brian had bought his art and that he still kept it, and in a place where he would see it daily that meant something that made it special. Justin carefully placed the painting back and decided he would forget the socks. Brian didn't need to know and he could just pack some of the Tennis socks that he knew where with the sweatpants he packed. Brian wouldn't like to know that Justin saw the picture he would just freak and push Justin away.

As Justin returned to the hospital he had made up his mind that he would talk to Brian in a few days, he would tell him what he wanted and that he was willing to wait but that he was not going to be a mere fuck buddy. He wanted to be his partner but he wouldn't say so, he could deal with the occasional trick as long as it was not in their bed and in front of him. He hoped Brian could accept that. He would keep his distance until then.

Oh how wrong he was! When Justin entered the hospital room Gus was put in he couldn't help but smile, Brian was not on the cot they had brought in for him but lay in Gus' bed, holding him tight. At that moment Justin knew that he was never going to stop loving Brian and he would make it his live goal to be loved by Brian in the same way that he loved him. Justin sat down the bag and pulled out his sketchbook and began to draw the two most important men in his live.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: I know some things aren't right with the timeline, but as I assume that Brian and Justin had already established a close relationship that included talking about Gus and other elements, just assume that the custody issue was brought up very early on. **

Chapter 8: 

Justin must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up to hushed voices, he kept his eyes closed to listen to what they had to say.

"Why are you and Jussin not in PJs Daddy?"

"We fell asleep before we could put them on."

"Oh, should we wake Jussin?"

"Nah, I think we can let him sleep a little more, he worked a lot these last few weeks."

"Like you Daddy?"

Brian didn't like the face Gus was making, he looked disappointed, he knew he should be spending more time with his son and he had gotten better at it after he refused to sign over his rights. That was something he owed to Justin, Justin had convinced him to keep his rights, he hated that Mel couldn't be with Gus when he got sick but he also knew that he would have hated to be left out.

"Yeah like me. Justin works with me Gus"

"Silly Daddy, Justin doesn't work, he makes pretty pictures, he made the picture in my room"

Brian was just as stunned as Justin when he heard that.

"The painting in your room was done by Justin sonny boy?"

"Yeah mommy said he gave it to me!"

Justin couldn't help it, he sat up.

"Jussin! Tell Daddy that you make pictures just like the one in my room."

"Gus, I am glad you kept the painting I made for you but your daddy is right. I work with him, I make pictures of things so people will buy them, your daddy then comes up with the words to put on the picture."

"Oh"

"How are you feeling this morning Sonny boy?"

"I don't like the needle daddy, can we take it out?"

"Sorry Sonny boy, you need that to make you all better."

Just then someone knocked on the door and entered at the same time.

"God morning! We are here to check on Gus."

After the doctors left, Gus fell back to sleep, Brian made sure he was comfortable before he walked over to where Justin sat.

"You didn't have to stay!"

"I know, but I brought your things and then I fell asleep."

"Thanks for the clothes, I really need to shower, do you think you could stay a while longer so I can do that and someone is with Gus?"

"Sure, I hope I got everything."

Brian checked the bag and then he remembered something that made his blood run cold. The drawing, if Justin had brought socks he had found the drawing. NO! Fuck! Fuck!

"Did you get me socks?"

"Yeah they are in the side pocket," Justin said without hesitation.

Brian slowly reached for the side pocket and pulled out three pair of black tennis socks. Thank God for Justin's lack in fashion sense, who would wear tennis socks in dress shoes? But for once Brian didn't complain. He took out the socks and went to take a shower.

While Brian was taking a shower Justin slowly moved over to the chair next to the hospital bed Gus was laying in. He looked so small, he almost disappeared under the covers. He started to wake up just as Justin thought about how he wanted to draw him.

Gus slowly opened his eyes and looked around for a bit until he focused on Justin.

"Jussin? Where's Daddy?"

"Daddy's in the shower, he will be right out, I am here to look after you until he gets back."

"Jussin, I hurt!" Justin had to smile, Gus was almost four now and he was certainly able to say Justin, but Justin loved it when Gus used baby talk, it made him sound so cute and it made Justin feel special.

"I will call a nurse and she will get you something I am sure!" Justin pushed the call button for the nurse.

"Good morning, I am Susie, I am here for the day shift, what do you need?"

Susie, Justin thought, what a stereotypical name for a nurse and this fake smile, Justin didn't like it but they were easy to charm so he didn't mind too much, Brian would hate her though.

"Gus says he's in pain."

"Well, Gus, let me check your chart. Hum, I can give him some children's pain medication but I would suggest you wait a little more, until the doctor sees him to make sure he can examine him correctly."

"But I hurt!" Gus said and pouted.

"Listen Susie, I understand it might be better, but Gus here is in a lot of pain, is there anyway you can call the doctor and make him come see us first? So that Gus can get his meds? That would be really nice of you!"

"Well, I can see he is uncomfortable, I will see what I can do."

"See Gus, she will make the pain go away soon."

Just as Justin was saying that and Susie left the room, Brian came out of the shower. Justin loved to see Brian just out of the shower, even if he was already dressed, Justin could see the damp hair and the light glisten on the skin. And just thinking about the way he would smell made his cock twitch.

"Daddy!"

"Hey Sonny boy, how are you feeling." None of Brian's friends got to see this Brian, openly caring and so interested in another person. Only Justin knew how he was, others got to see glimpses but in the short time they had spent together years ago, Justin was the one who got to see the real Brian, the Brian who let his guard down.

"The doctor will be in soon and then they can give Gus his pain meds."

"What are you talking about? Are you in pain Gus?"  
>"Yes I hurt Daddy, but I am a brave boy, I can wait for the doctor!" Gus nodded vehemently. He knew that Brian would go off on the nurse and Gus liked her.<p>

Brian was fuming inside, Justin knew that if the doctor didn't come soon Brian would freak and Brian could be a real queen. Just then the doctor walked in.

"Good morning, the nurse told me you are in pain young man" Gus liked that the doctor called him a man.

"Yea he is in pain he was in surgery yesterday!" Brian bellowed.

"I see, I will quickly check you through and make sure you are healing alright and then we can give you something against the pain.

While the doctor examined Gus Brian watched him carefully, Justin loved to see the caring Brian. He knew he would spent the rest of this day sketching. Although he had never really stopped to draw Brian, but he had gotten so many new images these past few weeks that he was sure he could fill a whole gallery.

"Brian, I think I will go home and take a shower, and then I will check in with Cynthia."

"Sure, I guess there is nothing we can do here."

"I am sure the family will come by and I could come by tonight with some work for you and something to do for Gus?" Justin knew Brian didn't like to accept help but he hopped he would this time.

"Thanks, I will see you tonight then." What was it about Justin that he wouldn't say no to him, it was so unlike him that he would look forward to spending time with someone else, he liked being alone. Even with Mickey, he didn't invite him ever, the time they spend alone together was always a drag for Brian but he thought he owed Mickey because he was the one who knew about his father. Of course Justin knew too, that kid had a way of getting Brian to tell him things.

The next day was a Friday so that Brian could spend the weekend with Gus in the hospital without missing too much work. Justin stayed with him most of the time, he had brought some work from Kinnetik for Brian to look over some paper and crayons for Gus. They sat together all day talking about what had happened the last couple of years. Justin was glad to hear that Brian never gave up the rights to Gus and Brian confirmed his suspicion that he was behind the Anti-Stockwell campaign. Justin learned about Ted and his addiction and Emmett's fling with Drew Boyd. The most surprising news was that of Michael's wedding.

"So he actually found someone who can deal with his obsession for you" Justin had said before thinking about it. He had held his breath hoping Brian wouldn't kick him out then.

"Yeah, I guess he did, I just hope he wont blow it." Was all Brian had to say to that. Justin carefully changed the topic.

Lindsay stayed on the medication and slept most of the time, the doctors said it might be best for her to go away for a while as she took it all really hard. So Brian decided to take Gus for the next few weeks. Mel's family arrived and arranged the funeral. Gus had cried a lot when Brian had told him that his Momma was not going to come back and he didn't understand why his Mommy couldn't come to see him.

Debbie, Ted, and Emmett had come by twice a day, they had reached Michael on Sunday, as it turned out he had not paid his phone bill and they didn't have a home-phone. He came rushing in Sunday afternoon, as if he owned the place.

"Briaannn! No one told me, I could have helped:"

"Michael we did call, you never answered your phone, and there was nothing we could do. Be quiet, Gus needs rest!"

"But they should have come by the store, I need to bring you things and food and…"

"Justin took care of it."

"Justin?" Michael looked shocked.

"Yeah, Justin, I am sure you remember him!" Brian was pissed, Michael had not asked about Gus or even looked at him.

"Hi Michael" Justin got up from where he had been sitting on the bed and walked over to Michael, his hand offered for Michael to shake it.

"Boy Wonder? Back to being the stalker? Well I am here now, you can go!"

"He is here because I want him here."

Justin beamed at Brian and at that moment Brian knew that Justin still wanted to be with him, the smile on his face said more than all his words. No matter how much he was hurt and how he still could not change, he knew one thing for certain, he wanted Justin back in his life, his personal life that is. And he was sure he would get him although now he needed to focus on Gus.

Just as Michael opened his mouth to whine something else, Debbie entered the room.

"Well, look who finally showed up!"

"Maaaaa…"

"Brian, I talked to the doctor and he said he needed to talk to you about Lindsay."

"Right now?"

"Yeah, I think it would be best."

"Justin?" Brian turned to look at the blond who had moved to the side of Gus's bed. "You mind staying with him?"

"No, I am not going anywhere." Justin said the words with determination and Brian understood. Justin was not only talking about Gus but also about his life in general.

"I'll be right back!"

"But Brian, I just got here!"

"And are you the one in a hospital bed? Are you the one who just lost their partner? No! So shut up and go, you are not here for Gus so just leave."

"But I need to talk to you…"

"Michael!" Debbie made a gesture for him to quit his ranting and motioned for him to follow Brian outside as he had already left and his raised voice may startle Gus.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: 

Allegheny Hospital Hallway

"What are you talking about unfit? I thought you said she was going to be ok?"

"We thought so but as it seems Ms Peterson has taken the loss of her partner so hard that she has closed up emotionally and we fear that she may have a fit in front of her son and we don't know when she will be able to take care of him again, so I think it may be best to involve child services if you are not ready to take Gus…permanently that is."

"Of course I will take my son, I just need to make arrangements." Brian spoke with a firm voice but inside he wasn't as certain. He couldn't take care of a small child, and he was scared but it was part of his rules not to be scared of anything ever again. So he made a straight face and turned back to the room.

When he returned to Gus's room he heard Michael's raised voice and hurried back, Brian had hoped that Michael would grow up after he got married but it seemed as if he was still unable to act appropriately to situations.

"Michael please be quiet you are scaring Gus!" Justin said with a strong voice but he kept it at a normal volume.

"You don't tell me what to do and Gus is not scared of me!"

"Yes he is!"Brian interfered as he saw that Gus was indeed hidden under his blanket.

"Brian, I tried to tell Justin to leave but he wouldn't go, he doesn't need to be here, I am here now, I will help you."

"Listen to me Michael, are you listening?"

"Yeah," Michael dropped his head as he heard Brian use his full name, he knew he had lost.

"I will not tell you again! We do not need you right now! Justin has taken care of everything so far and Gus is used to him being here. If I need anything _I _will call you. Do not go around assuming anything. I will take care of my son. You can go now and don't be calling all the time either, I have a lot on my plate right now and I don't want to be bothered with insignificant problems." With that he turned his back on Michael and faced Gus.

"Hey there Sonny boy, sorry we were loud its ok now!"

"I wasn't 'fraid Daddy! Jussin protect me!"

Brian secretly loved it when Gus spoke like a two year old it made him seem small again and he didn't want to have his son grow up to fast.

"I know, Justin will always protect you!" With that he looked at Justin and his face lit up. God how he had missed that smile and how he longed to kiss those lips again. Nothing came close to kissing Justin. As a matter of fact Brian had not kissed anyone after he had begun to see Justin. Even after Justin had left him or that's what he thought at the time, he stuck to his new no kissing tricks rule.

"Sonny Boy how would you like to come live with me for a little while?"

"Live wif you? Yeah! But what about Mommy?"

"Mommy still needs to see the doctors and she cant take care of you all the time."

"Oh, OK, but Daddy you don't have a bed for me." Gus's face fell.

"You can sleep in my bed with me until we go out and buy you one! Why don't you sleep for a while and me and Justin go get a coffee."

"Ok Daddy!"

"We will be right outside Gus if you need anything just call for us ok?"

"Ok Jussin."

Brian and Justin walked out into the hallway.

"So Lindsay isn't better?" Justin knew that Brian cared for Lindsay and seeing her hurt without being able to care for her must be hard on him.

"No, and the doctor doesn't know if she will ever be able to take care of Gus again. What am I going to do Jus? I cant raise a child, they will take him away!"

Brian began to panic so much so that he didn't notice that he called Justin 'Jus' a thing he liked doing in his mind but since he didn't believe in giving names of affections to your bed-partner he had sworn himself never to do it aloud. Justin had noticed but he knew Brian well enough to keep quiet about it. After all there were more important things.

"Yes you do! You are a great father and Gus is not a baby anymore, the only thing that you can do is your best and then no one can take him away, don't listen to anyone."

Brian was sitting on a chair and was breathing rapidly.

"Brian, listen to me! Are you listening?" Brian looked up at the words that he usually uttered.

"Yeah I am listening."

"You are NOT your father, YOU love your son!"

With those words Brian pulled Justin closer and buried his face in his side.

"I know its just, I never planned for this," his words were quiet and came very slowly

Justin slowly, so he wouldn't scare Brian into bringing up the walls again, began to put his arms around Brian's shoulders and held him tight. They were like this for quite some time until they were interrupted by a loud voice coming from behind them.

"Oh God, what happened to Gus?" Debbie shrieked, she had panicked as soon as she saw that Brian was allowing Justin to hug him in public.

When Brian didn't react, Justin turned his head to Deb because that was all he could move.

"No, don't worry, Gus is fine, he is sleeping and we thought it would be better to talk out here. Listen Deb, could you watch him for a little bit, I think Brian should get some coffee."

"Sure think hon! I brought my knitting so you just go and do whatever for a while, I'll be here!"

"Thanks Deb!" Justin turned back to Brian and carefully shook him as Debbie closed the door to Gus's room behind her.

"Bri!" Justin's voice was low but intense, Brian looked up immediately, Justin had known he would, he always did when Justin used this tone. So Justin had been careful to only use it when necessary.

"Let's go somewhere and get some coffee." Brian got up and followed Justin to the Starbucks across the street from the hospital. It was huge and Justin wondered if it was unethical to obviously make such a large profit from people who where undoubtedly here because they were waiting for news on a loved one.

When Justin had maneuvered Brian to a seat in the back he went and got them their drinks, a large Latte for Brian, extra shot espresso, and he ordered a chocolate shake.

As the caffeine entered Brian's system the color slowly returned to his face but there was still something wrong with his posture and suddenly Justin understood. Brian needed to vent his pain. He had never learned that crying was ok at times and that tears could bring release. Christ, he had probably been beaten harder if he cried. Justin knew there was only one thing that would help Brian get out of this state he was in. He contemplated for a minute. Was that what he wanted? Could he do it and accept it for what it was, simple pain management? Of course he could, there was nothing he wouldn't endure if he could help Brian with it. He had always known that. So he made a decision, he would help Brian and then he would forget it so they could start fresh after the worst was over and Brian was Brian again.

Justin got up and positioned himself directly in front of Brian, moved his hand slowly down his arm and then strongly gripped his wrist, pulled him up and dragged him to the bathroom. Once inside he pushed Brian against the side of the stall and locked the door. Only then Brian became alive.

"Justin," He moaned as he understood Justin's intentions.

"Stop thinking! Just feel!" With that Justin dropped to his knees and began to unbutton Brian's jeans as he stroke his cock through the material smiling as he felt it harden. Justin loved Brian's cock, it was the most beautiful he had ever seen. It was perfectly shaped and when he was fucked by Brian he always thought that it must have been made especially for him as it had the perfect size to give him just enough pain and pleasure to be the best feeling he could think of.

When Justin pulled down the jeans the cock sprang out and he got to work immediately.

Brian had been denying himself this pleasure for days now so the built up tension caused him to cum quickly. Justin was excellent at giving head, he knew how to get Brian off quickly and yet give him pleasure that would last him for a while.

"Oh Fuck! Justin!" Brian half screamed his name and fisted his hair fiercely as he shot his load down Justin's throat.

Justin smiled satisfied as he zipped Brian back up and carefully got on his feet. Brian looked down on Justin and couldn't believe that he was still shy. There was nothing they hadn't done before but Justin still blushed, especially after giving him a blow job. God, he wanted to kiss those lips, no he needed to kiss those lips that had just given him that great pleasure. For a while he had forgotten all his worries and now that his head was clear again, he was going to deal with the situation. He had needed this and for once it hadn't been him who had realized it. Justin had always known what he needed, he had given him space when required and had always just pushed enough for Brian to let him in but not push him away.

Justin was still looking at him as Brian pulled him closer by the waist. Who cared that he shouldn't do this, that it would only complicate things and present him with another problem he needed to think about. He was Brian Kinney and he always got what he wanted and right now he wanted to kiss Justin. So in one final movement he pressed his lips down on Justin's intending to make it a slow deep kiss but as soon as their lips made contact they were both overcome with passion and their mouths began a fight for dominance that had two winners. Justin's hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him close and playing with his hair. He had learned that Brian didn't like his hair messed up and had gotten used to the caresses he could give his neck while Brian was not so hesitant. His hands were once again all over Justin, one in his hair, alternating between pulling and stroking his head while the other one was placed on the small of his back, holding him tight. Just as Justin didn't think he could keep from begging Brian to fuck him any longer, they heard the bathroom door open. Someone knocked on the stall door.

"uhm Justin? Brian? Gus is asking for you and…"

Brian reached for the lock and opened the door immediately almost knocking into a rather red faced Emmett.

"Thanks! We'll go check on him"

As Brian walked ahead of him Emmett held Justin back.

"You know he missed you! Don't leave him again!" and with that he walked away.

Justin hesitated for a second, Emmett's words catered to his hopes, all of them being of Brian still in love with him and them being together. He shook his head, he didn't need to think about that right now, right now they had to think about Gus and getting their projects at Kinnetik done without too much help from Brian.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: 

The next couple of weeks went by quickly, they had established a routine. Brian stayed at home with Gus, and Justin went to work at Kinnetik, at 12 he gathered his material and went over to the loft to bring Brian the work he couldn't get over the net. The first couple of times Justin tried to leave before dinner but Brian had insisted and Gus' pleading face hadn't helped any. So Justin had stayed until Gus was asleep and then went home. Brian would bring him to the door and give him a kiss. It was a kiss much like the ones he used to give Michael but somehow both of them knew that they were more and they silently agreed not to adress that topic until Gus was better and they could deal with their 'relationship'.

After a whole week of Tai food for dinner Justin started to bring over groceries and began to cook for them. He had always enjoyed cooking for Brian. He loved the challenges it brought, no carbs after 7 pm or cooking with less fat and yet make Brian like it. Justin could always tell if Brian liked his creations which most of the time he did even though he never said so and he frequently commented on the mess Justin made while cooking and that there was no need to cook as they could get everything delivered. But Justin knew that Brian enjoyed their dinners, he had just never learned to appreciate a quite dinner at home. Growing up he tried to avoid being home, if his mom wasn't too drunk to think about food and when he was at Debbie's, dinner was never quite and even there he was faced with people that would blame everything that went wrong on him.

"Gus' appointment is tomorrow," Brian stated one evening.

"That's great, so what are you planning on doing with him once he gets the all clear?"

"That's the thing, I have no clue, I don't want him in daycare and Lindsay is still in therapy, God knows when she will be back to normal."

"You could hire a nanny."

"I don't want some stranger living in my apartment!"

"Have you ever thought about building a daycare at Kinnetik? I mean a place where all your employees could bring their kids and have them close by, I bet you have the room."

"That idea is not half bad Sunshine! I will call Ted." With that Brian got up and grabbed the phone.

"Theodore! How much would it cost me to build a daycare at Kinnetik for my employees?"

"Not too much, I want it to be the cheapest solution for them"

"Well, you do that and get back to me tomorrow!"

Brian hung up and turned to Justin.

"Ted thinks its possible but he has to go over all the numbers and talk to HR to find out how many kids we would need to accommodate. He thinks it might take a few weeks to set it up."

"That's great, so Gus can come to work with you until then, I am sure Cynthia would love the company, and I did promise him to show him my neat computer!"

Justin smiled at Brian, he was so proud of the way Brian handled the current situation, contrary to what everyone, except Justin and maybe Emmett believed, Brian was a great father, he actively listened to Gus. He always told Gus what was going on carefully not to hurt him but he never lied to him. As far as Justin could tell he didn't go out much either and he knew for certain that he would never bring a trick home when Gus was there.

The next day Justin was working on a new account, he was dissatisfied with the finished product and he couldn't decide on whether to use blue or orange lettering. Just as he was about to take a break he was greeted by a little whirlwind that threw himself in his arms.

"Justin, I am all better!"

"Whoa buddy, watch out you almost threw me there! The doctor said you are all better huh?"  
>"uhuh and Daddy said I could visit with you while he talks with Uncle Ted, but he said I had to ask first, please Justin can I?"<p>

"Of course you can stay with me, you know I never get enough of your company."

He looked up and saw Brian standing by the door smiling. He nodded his head to him and mouthed that he would take Gus while he was busy discussing the daycare.

Justin had always admired that Brian seemed to get done everything he set his mind too much more quickly than anyone else, so he was only mildly surprised when he found out that Brian had set up the Kinnetik daycare in less than a week.

Brian was torn, he was looking forward to getting back to work but he also knew that he would miss spending so much time with Gus it had been much easier than he had imagined it in the beginning. But most of all he was afraid of loosing Justin again, yeah they were still working together but without the work Justin had no reason to come by in the afternoons. So when Monday came he was for the first time in weeks not looking forward to the evening. He dropped of Gus at the new room they had set up for the ten kids that would need daycare and after ensuring Gus that he would still be only a couple of doors down he reluctantly got back to work. He had been afraid that he couldn't stop thinking with Justin in such close proximity but as it turned out he was swamped with work that Cynthia had loaded on his desk. He was so engaged in his work that he didn't react to the knock on his door.

"Um Brian, I am sorry, you didn't hear me knocking, I was wondering, you mind if I go to lunch with you, I mean with Gus and you?" Damn, why was it so hard to ask Brian to go to lunch with him they had been so close, why should eating together change? 'Because he doesn't need you anymore!' a little voice inside his head whispered to him.

"What? Oh, its lunch, damn I said I'd take Gus!" With that he jumped up quickly.

"Don't worry, it's only almost time, I was just wondering you know, but I see you've got plans already." Only then did the words register with Brian and he smiled on the inside, he could get time with Justin still, going out to lunch wasn't as good but better than nothing.

"No, we can go together, you mind going to the sandwich place across the street, they are fairly decent and Gus likes them."

"Sure, you know me, I eat almost anything!"

"You can drop the 'almost' I doubt here is anything you don't eat!"

"Cynthia, I am gone to lunch, I'll be back in an hour or so."

"Sure thing boss!"

So they had turned their dinner routine into a lunch routine and although it wasn't as intimate and comfortable as before, they savored every moment. Brian missed spending his nights with Justin, He missed their conversations that didn't involve Gus and most of all he missed the goodnight kisses. But in Brian's eyes it was Justin's turn to take the initiative, he had begun the kisses and Justin had never shown a sign that he wanted more. Although Brian had initiated more contact and Justin never backed away he never attempted to deepen their kisses. Justin on the other hand believed that Brian was still the old Brian and that only Gus held him back and he was ever more certain that he would not settle for half of Brian, he wanted it all, the good the bad and the ugly. He just didn't have the guts to confront Brian about it. Truth be told he was scared of losing him completely, if he couldn't get him as a partner, a good friend was the next best thing.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11: 

Brian and Justin dragged their relationship along for three month until summer. Brian was talking to Justin about his plans to take Gus to Disney Land and then get off to some tropical island in the Caribbean to get his yearly fix of sunshine and then Brian had to answer his cell. Justin didn't worry about Brian as he was currently working on a layout for a new campaign, until he was startled by Brian yelling into the phone.

"You've got to be kidding me! So you are just taking off! Damn straight I am upset! You are calling me after months of silence just to tell me that you are abandoning your son and you fucking expect me to just take it?"

"You're not even coming back to tell him yourself are you?"

"So how do you figure I explain to a five year old that the one mother he has left has decided he wasn't worth sticking around for?"

"Fine, I will get legal on it but I swear Lindsay, if you do this you are gone for good! Don't you dare think about coming back once you realize what a fucking huge mistake you made and take him from me! My lawyer will call you, we are through!"

Brian hang up and dropped the phone, he suddenly felt really really tired.

"That was Lindsay, she is moving Mexico, alone, she is giving me full parental rights." He said and dropped onto a chair.

Justin didn't know what to say, he never in a million years would have thought that Lindsay would leave Gus, after all it was her who had begged Brian to father her son although he didn't want to at the time. He looked at Brian and saw a mix of emotions, anger, frustration, but deep down Brian was utterly sad, he didn't understand how Lindsay could do such a thing to him and to Gus.

Justin wanted to comfort Brian but he wasn't sure if Brian would let him so he hesitantly stretched out his arm towards him.

"Brian, is there anything I could…" But he was interrupted by Brian pulling him onto his lap and holding onto him tightly. His face was buried in Justin's chest as if he tried to keep out the world. Justin put his arms around him and rubbed soothing circles on his back when he felt Brian shake with silent tears for his lost friend.

"If you want to, I can take Gus tomorrow so you can deal with the paperwork!" Justin finally said.

"Thanks, I guess I will have to drive up to see her one last time after all don't I?"

"You could just send the lawyers to sign the papers and stay in the car! She is the one leaving Brian, not you, you don't have to feel bad about this, sad, yes, but none of this is your fault. You will be a great dad to Gus and I know that you will make the right choices! Your son loves you! But even more importantly, you love your son!


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

So Justin stayed home with Gus the following day and Brian went to get his full parental rights. Gus liked spending time with Justin, he was like a father to him he wanted to call him papa like one of his friends called his second father but he wasn't sure if it was ok so he just called him that to his friends and himself. Justin too thought of Gus as a son but he didn't know how he was supposed to deal with these feelings, he was certain that if Brian ever found someone else to live with and have that person be called dad by Gus his heart would break, more so than if he just lost Brian. Leaving Brian now would mean leaving his family and he simply didn't want to do that so he had to take what he had and deal with it even if Brian would never see him sexually again, he wanted to stay a part of the brunet's life. They spent the day painting, Gus loved to paint with Justin because he got to see the oil colors and paint on a canvas and Justin let him paint anything and he helped him only when he asked. After dinner Justin put Gus to bed, he smiled when he found out that Gus was still not sleeping on the cod Brian got for him but preferred sleeping in Brian's bed. Justin was tired and he was anxious to hear from Brian just to know that he was ok. He had told him he could stay late and had brought sweats so he could sleep on the couch. That was what he did, he nestled himself under a blanket on the couch and went to sleep with a smile on his face because the cover smelled of Brian. After only about an hour of sleep he heard Gus cry.

"Hey Buddy, what's wrong?" He asked quietly not to startle Gus while he sat down next to the boy.

"I was dreaming about mommy, why can't I have my mommy? Daddy says she sick and needs to be away but I miss her so much papa!" Gus was so upset that he didn't realize that he used his own name for Justin. Justin, however, had heard it loud and clear and his heart jumped.

"I know you miss her Gus but she can't be here right now because she needs to get better first!"

"Why is everyone leaving? You don't come here anymore either are you leaving me too?" Justin looked into the boys eyes that were so much like his father's and stated with determination in every word.

"I will never leave you Gus, no matter what, I will always be here for you! And so will your father, he loves you very much and he will make sure that you never have to feel alone ok?"

"Ok!" Gus said with a yawn.

"Why don't you try to get some more sleep, I am sure Daddy will be home soon."

"Can you stay here please?"

"Sure, I stay until you fall back asleep and then I will go back to the couch."

Justin climbed over Gus and laid down closely next to him, Gus turned around and hugged Justin tightly.

That was how Brian found them when he got home a little while later. This image made all the bad things that had happened previously that day be forgotten. He couldn't help but smile at the image of his two boys curled up together. They looked like they belonged that way. It didn't matter that Justin wasn't Gus' biological father; Justin would always be a part of his life and thereby also Brian's. That realization made Brian extremely happy, he knew even if he somehow managed to get Justin back into his home and bed, he was terrified of losing him again. Because he messed up or for some other reason he couldn't think of now. He was certain Justin would leave eventually, no one stayed with Brian, he was too messed up, too broken to be loved. But through Gus Brian would at least know what Justin was up to and if he was happy. Nothing else mattered to Brian as long as Justin was happy.

Brian shook his head; these thoughts were getting way to lesbionic for his liking. He turned and went into the bathroom to get a quick shower. When he came back out the boys had shifted their position. Justin was now lying on his back and Gus was curled up closely to his side. Brian pulled on a pair of black sweats just to be safe and carefully approached the bed. He got in on Justin's right side and carefully placed his arm above the blonde's head and mirrored Gus's position on the other side by curling up closely to Justin. Justin instinctively tilted his head so that it now rested on Brian's arm and Brian could bury his nose in his hair.

Brian didn't want to fall asleep, he wanted to savor this moment for he wasn't sure how soon he could have one of them again. But he couldn't help it, the familiarity of the situation was too much. For the first time in a long time he slept soundly without tossing or turning.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: 

The next Morning Justin woke up because something tickled his nose and he heard a soft giggle at his side.

"You look funny when you sleep Justin."

Justin smiled, he loved waking up like this, in Brian's strong arms, after sleeping soundly through the night, it had been one of the few nights he didn't wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night covered in sweat.

"Let your father sleep a little longer Gus, why don't we get you dressed and get us some breakfast"

"Yeah, I want pancakes" Gus whispered, imitating the tone Justin had used before.

Justin carefully freed himself from Brian's tender embrace and moved with Gus to the kitchen area, closing the blinds so Brian could rest a little longer.

"I am not sure if your daddy has all the things we need for pancakes, he tends to forget to stock the kitchen, I might have to go to the store."

"Ok!" Gus was happy, he loved cooking breakfast and he particularly liked spending time with his Justin.

The morning went by quickly, as Justin had predicted, Brian had next to nothing in the fridge so he placed Gus in front of the TV with some apple slices to tie him over and went to the store to get everything he would need to cook a good breakfast. When he got back Gus was sitting on the couch and drew, not paying any attention to the TV and Brian was still fast asleep.

"Hey Buddy, I am back, you wanna come help me make pancakes?"

"I can help?" Gus's face lit up.

"Mommy never let me help, she said I wasn't big enough, am I big enough now Justin?"

"You sure are, if you can be careful and listen to me, and if you promise to tell me when your tummy hurts because you cant stand up anymore."

"I promise!"

"Ok, now you can stir all the ingredients together with this big spoon, we want it to be very smooth!"

Brian woke up to Justin explaining to Gus how to make breakfast, he looked over at the clock, he couldn't believe that he had slept for so long, he had slept that well in forever, in years, to be precise since Justin had last spent the night, all those years ago but he wasn't ready to admit that to himself yet.

"Whatcha doing there Gus?"

Both Justin and Gus looked up at Brian and smiled. They were both wearing an apron, Brian had totally forgotten, that he had gotten one for Gus when he had insisted on helping him reheat the takeout and needed something to cover his new clothes last summer.

"I am making breakfast Daddy, Justin is letting me do it all by myself!"

"Is that so?" Brian walked around the counter to pear over Gus's shoulder.

"It looks good, what is it?"

"Silly Daddy, its pancakes, Justin said they usually look more white but we had to use other flour because of my tummy."

"Well, I am sure they will taste even better than the white ones!"

"Yeah!" Gus turned back to stirring, he was so concentrated that the tip of his tongue stuck out of his mouth.

Brian gave his a little kiss on the cheek and then turned to Justin and did the same with him but his mouth lingered on the blond's cheek a little longer. Brian could have sworn that Justin leaned into the kiss but then again, maybe he was just hoping for something like that.

They spent the day together at the apartment just playing with Gus all day. Brian thought that he could get used to this and that thought scared him. He was never someone to settle down, forming a family for him meant building a trap. He was certain that he would mess it up but somehow he got the feeling that his hopes that Justin might want to come back to him outgrew his long lasting commitment issues.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: 

The weeks went on, and neither Brian nor Justin acted on their desire to be with the other again. They worked together and they went to lunch together and sometimes Justin would come over on the weekends, but that was always by invitation from Gus and not Brian. So Justin though that Brian only wanted to be friends with him, while Brian thought the same thing of Justin. After all, Brian never fucked his friends and Justin had never been a man that needed to be asked to hang out with Brian, he had always been the initiator of their meetings.

Kinnetik

"Great News Boss!"

Cynthia walked into Brian's office, she had been working for Brian so long that she knew when she could burst into the office and when she needed to knock, after all putting up with Brian's shit for so long gave her a few privileges.

"What?" Brian wasn't in the best moods these days and Cynthia knew why, Justin was gone to New York for one of his shows. His last show had been very succesful and Brian had feared that Justin would quit and move to New York but he came back, back to the agency and by extend back to Brian. Now Brian was scared again, this show was even bigger, and it might give Justin enough money and commissions to quit his job this time.

"I just got the CLIO nominations per mail!"

"And?" Brian was careful not to act too excited, but the truth was, he wanted these awards, every time he won one, it gave him the feeling that he had finally succeeded, even if the feeling didn't last too long.

"Well, it turns out there were two nominations for Kinnetik, one for Justin's artwork and one for your copy!"

"Well, they better nominate Justin, his work was great!"

Cynthia was still surprised when she heard Brian give out compliments so freely, he only ever did that for Justin. She had to admit Justin deserved it and Brian would have never complimented where it wasn't deserved.

"I suppose, I have to go shopping for a new suit, when are they again?"

"Next weekend, and they are in New York, so it shouldn't be a problem for Justin to be there, he still has that show until Wednesday."

"Well, give him a call and arrange for us to go together, Kinnetik is still so new, we need to go there, spread our name around…"

Cynthia was already half out the door when he had an idea.

"Cynthia, book a flight for Gus and me for Thursday, I am sure he would love to see the zoo and everything…"

"Sure thing boss" Cynthia had to smile, leave it to Brian to find a way back to see Justin without making it appear obvious.

"One more thing, don't tell Justin, we will surprise him!"

Thursday: New York, Justin's show

Justin was standing in the middle of the gallery, looking around, he wished the shows could always be this quite, just one or two visitors per hour and he might stick to being an artist full time, he certainly could afford it as most of his pieces had sold already. But he absolutely loathed the night showings and especially opening night which was full of pompous people who pretended they knew about art and had something to say about every piece. He was glad that he could go home tomorrow, he missed his bed and he missed Brian although he had told himself that he would not think about Brian too much anymore, it was time he moved on. HE was happy being Brian's friend although it could never be enough for him. HE wanted a family and if Brian wouldn't give that to him he would have to settle for someone else although it broke his heart Justin thinking about being with anyone else. He would just wait and see how life presented itself to him.

"Jussin!"

Justin turned around towards the sound and was kneeling down just in time to catch a rather excited Gus.

"Hey little Man, what are you doing here?"

"I am here with daddy, we took a plane and I got my own suitcase and everyting…"

That was when Justin noticed Brian, a big smile on his face standing a few feet away.

"As it turns out Sunshine, our combined genius granted us a nomination for the CLIOs this weekend and I figured if we had to go to New York might as well take the time to shop and check out your work."

"Oh, Brian that's great, congratulations! I am glad you came, if you want to I can show you around and then we can go to the zoo or something this afternoon, I am afraid I can't stay long though, I still have to pack and my flight is at 7 am."

"I don't think so Sunshine, Cynthia rebooked your flight, you are on a plane with us on Sunday since you will have to carry your own award, I will not be degraded to being your mule."

"What are you talking about Brian?"

"I said we are nominated, as in me, for the copy and you for the artwork. So we better plan some time to get you a new suit."

"What? I mean I know we were good, God Brian this is great! I have to call the hotel let them know I will stay two more nights!"

Brian had to smile at Justin's exuberance. He had missed Justin a lot this past week.

The three of them spent a great day in NY, they went to the zoo and shopping and at night they went out for dinner. Saturday they went to the CLIO Awards and of course they won. Justin was sure that this was what he wanted to do for the rest of his life, spend his time with Brian and Gus. They took a plane back to Pittsburgh Sunday night and Brian dropped Justin off at his apartment, he had offered to take him up but since Gus was asleep at that time Justin had declined the offer. Brian had, however, carried his suitcase to the door and they had kissed goodbye, a slow long kiss that Justin had wished had never ended. He was sure this weekend was the turning point in whatever it was that was between them. Already in New York they had made plans with Gus for next weekend. But when he got back to his apartment he was torn back into reality.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: 

Justin's apartment Sunday late at night

"Well look who is back!"

Justin dropped his keys when he heard that 'oh' so familiar voice, he closed his eyes and turned on the light, hoping that he was just imagining things but unfortunately he wasn't. There he was, the biggest mistake of his life standing right in front of him a scary smile on his face that was framed by greasy hair and his chin covered with a badly trimmed beard.

"What are you doing here Ethan, how did you get in here?"

"Oh that was easy, I just told your landlord that I was your boyfriend here to surprise you for our anniversary. Which I didn't even have to lie about, today is the anniversary of our first date after all."

"Ethan I told you once and I will tell you again, I am not in love with you I am in love with someone else!"

"That whore? You are in love with that whore Brian Kinney?"

"Don't call him that! He is a better man than you could ever hope to be!"

"Well, tell me Justin, did you give up the ass for him? Did you let him come near that perfect ass?"

"Its none of your business whether I slept with Brian or not, Ethan you have to leave right now I told you I don't want anything to do with your cheating sadomasochistic being!"

"You call me a cheater and yet you are chasing after that whore who probably has every disease you can only think of. Compared to that I am a saint."

"A saint? I caught you practically raping a minor Ethan, you are just lucky I got there in time and the boy didn't press charges. Brian would never force himself on anyone, not that he would have to, there are few who would refuse him. But not you, you just can't take no for an answer can you? But guess what, you will have to learn that, because you will have to leave right now before I call the cops on you."

Justin's voice was firm and strong, although he was shacking on the inside. He had seen the crazy glimmer in Ethan's eyes and he knew he shouldn't have yelled at him and put him down but he just couldn't let Brian be cussed at, it was like an instinct. Defending Brian was part of his nature.

"Well we will have to see about that." And with these words Ethan jumped forward, pushed the door closed and had Justin on the floor before he could react. Justin struggled with all his might but Ethan was stronger, he had him pinned to the floor and was fervently working on pulling down Justin's pants. Thank god he had worn the tight jeans instead of his usual velcro cargos on the flight to impress Brian.

"I will not accept a no from you, I will have that ass right now!"

Ethan whispered and licked his neck. Justin was close to throwing up. He couldn't believe this was happening. He continued to struggle, but as Ethan succeeded to pull his pants down Justin began to scream.

"GO right ahead, scream,, I told the landlord about your tendencies to like it rough, he wont help you!"

Justin couldn't believe it. Ethan had planned this, planned to rape him. In his mind he just thought no, no, no, please God! NO!


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: 

"GO right ahead, scream,, I told the landlord about your tendencies to like it rough, he wont help you!"

Justin couldn't believe it. Ethan had planned this, planned to rape him. In his mind he just thought no, no, no, please God! NO!

And then it happened, one second he had felt Ethan's unsheathed cock on his ass and then all his weight was pulled off of him. Justin needed a second to understand that he could move again but once he noticed, he struggled to turn around and scooted to the wall. That's when he saw him. His savior, beating down on Ethan who was whimpering on the floor.

"Brian." Justin's voice was weak, but it was enough to wake Brian from his rage. He turned to Justin and pulled him in his arms before holding him at arms length, looking in directly in his eyes.

"Did he…, was I…?"

"NO." Justin shook his head. "But it was close, you were just in time."

Brian pulled Justin close and then pulled out his cell phone.

"Carl? I need you to come to Justin's apartment; some guy was trying to rape him. Yeah, I got the fucker right here." Then he turned to Justin. "Carl will be right here. He said we need to get you to the hospital and have them take evidence."

Justin's face went another shade of pale.

"No, please, I don't want to I mean, I hate hospitals!" He shook his head fervently while at the same time looking up with big eyes at Brian

"I will come with you, I will not let you out of my sight again."

"Why did you come back? And where is Gus?"

"Emmett is watching him at home."

Just then Carl walked in, followed by two officers.

2 hours later at the loft

Brian had taken Justin to the hospital to get official photographs of the bruises Ethan had left on Justin's skin. He had to fight hard not to freak out and turn around to do more damage to the man each time he saw Justin cringe of pain. Justin was exhausted and didn't even notice when Brian didn't take him back to his apartment.

"Brian, what happened?" Emmett realized immediately that something was wrong with Justin because of the way Brian was holding him protectively.

"I'll tell you in the morning, thank you Emmett for coming by!"

"Any time Brian. You take care of your man here!"

"Come on Justin, lets go to bed!"

"uhuh!" All Justin could do was nod his head and slowly make his way to the bed. Once he got there he didn't even have the energy left to take off his clothes, he simply fell onto the cover and clutched the pillow, closed his eyes and fell asleep.

Brian gently smiled, he was still upset about what almost happened to Justin and he couldn't even think about what may have happened if Justin hadn't dropped his keys in front of the door or Ethan had decided to leave the key in the lock from the inside. The few seconds he had to endure hearing Justin struggle until he had the door open and had gotten hold of that bastard were enough for Brian to realize that Justin being hurt would be the most terrible thing that he could imagine apart from loosing Gus. He knew then without a doubt in his mind that this was love, and now that he had admitted that to himself he wanted nothing more than to tell Justin and to start his life with him. He had no intention of letting him go back to his apartment. He was glad that Justin could feel save in his bed. So he slowly went over to gently pull Justin's pants of and cover him up then he pulled his shirt and pants off to lay down next to Justin on his side of the bed. It was funny that he had never thought about his bed having sides and truthfully he had always slept on either side until he had met Justin, and then the left side had become Justin's.

Brian reached over and turned off the light on the nightstand and just a couple of seconds later he heard small feet tapping over the hardwood floor towards him.

"Daddy?" Gus was standing on the top step to his bedroom looking at him with sleepy eyes, his right hand was holding the leather bear Brian had given him when he was still a baby.

"I am right here Sonny Boy! What is it, are you having trouble sleeping?"

"Can I sleep wif you and Justin tonight Daddy?"

"Sure, but you have to come over to my side and be very quiet, Justin had a rough day!"

"Oh… I can give him Leather Bear, he always helps me!"

"That is really nice of you buddy, but I think it will be enough if we hold him close tonight."

Gus carefully climbed onto the bed, and cuddled close to his father and Justin, carefully slipping his small hand into that of Justin.

When Justin began to wake up the next day, he could feel two bodies very close to him. One small one was laying over his chest, and the other was wrapped carefully over the both of them holding close, making Justin feel safe.

As he opened his eyes he looked directly into small hazel orbs that were almost identical to those of the man he loved.

"You feeling better?"

Justin was surprised that Brian had apparently told Gus something. But he also knew that Brian may have just done that so Gus wouldn't worry about his odd behavior.

"Yeah, your Daddy and you made it all better!"

"What do you say we get us some breakfast?"

"Yeah!"

A few minutes later Brian woke up to one of his favorite sounds, Gus and Justin laughing. Before he went to the kitchen he grabbed his cell phone and made three phone calls. One to Cynthia, telling her he wouldn't be in today, one to Debbie asking if she could take Gus for the night and another one that he hoped would help him to set his plan of keeping Justin and getting him to move in with him in motion.

Brian looked through the dividers that separated the living area from his bedroom carefully just to see what his boys were up to. He saw that Justin had Gus in his little apron, sitting up on the counter stirring something in a bowl. He was so focused that the tip of his tongue peaked out of his little mouth moving the spoon determinedly.

Brian turned to go and take a shower, he couldn't help but hopping that this would be an image he would wake up to the next couple of years.

Brian was done with his shower when Debbie opened the door to the loft.

"Now, where is my favorite little boy?"

"Gramma Deb!" Gus smiled widely and jumped of the counter to get to Debbie and hugged her tightly.

"Me and Jussin made dark pancakes, are you having some too?"

"Sure, do you have enough?"

"Jussin?" Gus turned to Justin worried.

"We got plenty for Deb to join us. Why don't you put these plates out for all of us and go get your Daddy?"

Gus walked over to the counter and grabbed two of the plates that Justin had set out for him as Justin walked over to greet Debbie.

"Hey there Sunshine! Carl told me what happened, you alright?" Debbie asked quietly so that Gus couldn't overhear.

"Yeah, a little shook up but I will deal with it." As he said that he felt Brian come up behind him and putting a hand on his lower back reassuringly.

"Thanks for coming Ma! Justin and I have got a lot planned today."

"We do?" Justin turned to Brian, suddenly fearing that they would have to go back to the hospital. Brian saw the worry in his face.

"Don't worry! I have something I need to show you."

"I ready!" Gus shouted from the table where he had climbed up on his special stool. Only Brian would find a highchair that went with his designer furniture.

Debbie smiled when she saw how Brian was gently directing Justin to the table, never loosing contact with his hand on the younger man's back. It was about time Brian found someone who could make him happy she had always believed that he deserved it probably more than anyone, and she was probably one of the only people who had noticed how devastated Brian was after loosing Justin once, she was certain he would make sure that wouldn't happen again.

After Debbie left to take Gus to the Zoo, Brian turned to look at Justin carefully.

"Are you alright?" he asked, gently cupping Justin's face in his hand, barely conceiving the anger he still felt inside.

"I am fine, really Brian, I am alright. Ethan can't hurt me anymore, Carl said they had been looking for him in California for raping a young boy, he is not going to leave prison for a while, if ever. Where are we going?"

"I've got something to show you." As he said that he put his hand under Justin's chin and gently placed a kiss on the younger man's cheek. "You just have to be patient for a little while longer, that is if you are ok with going somewhere?" Brian had just now thought about the fact that Justin may not be up for surprises today.

"Brian," Justin put his hand on Brian's chest reassuringly. "I am really ok, I know it didn't seem like it last night, but I am really fine. Thanks again for saving me!"

"No need to thank me sunshine" Brian was surprised at how emotional he got where Justin was concerned.

"Lets get going."

Brian grabbed Justin's jacket and threw it at the young man playfully.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: 

"Lets get going"

Brian grabbed Justin's jacket and threw it at the young man playfully.

After only about a 15 minute drive, Brian stopped at the side of the park that was located on the edge of Liberty Avenue.

"The park? That's what you had wanted to show me?" Justin wasn't sure what was going on, but he was sure, it wasn't the park that Brian wanted to show him.

"No, but I figured we could walk the last few feet, what I want to show you is behind the park."

"Alright then," Justin said and practically jumped out of the car. Brian had to laugh at Justin's exuberance. He quickly caught up with him and putting an arm around his waist, held him close as they walked.

Justin loved the feel the closeness, however, he was still uncertain if this was going to where he hopped it would go. He wanted to be with Brian and no one else, no one could ever take Brian's place in his heart, they would all just be second choice and Justin knew he didn't want to do that to anyone, so it was either getting Brian or staying unhappy for the rest of his life.

Justin had been so deeply in thought that he hadn't notice where exactly they were headed, he only noticed once they stopped in front of a big stone wall covered in ivy,

"Here we are."

Justin wasn't sure what to think about this.

"Wow, uhm Brian, it is a really nice, uuhh, what exactly am I supposed to see?"

"Nothing yet sunshine, we have to get in first."

"Well, I am not climbing that wall!"

"Well," Brian said, imitating Justin's stubborn child tone, "if you ask nicely, you wont have to, because I have a key to the gate right here:" Brian held up a rather large, old looking key on a silver key ring. He then turned a little towards the left and unlocked the small gate that Justin had overlooked earlier.

"After you!" Brian gallantly and at the same time mockingly held the gate open for Justin to enter.

"If this is the time, where you show me the tombstone with my name on it, you should have chosen a different time of day!"

"Not a bad idea Sunshine, but I have to disappoint you, there is no tombstone, but I do have to ask you to walk a bit faster here, we are almost there!" and with that Brian walked around large tree and came to a stop, Justin too stood still, he was looking at the most beautiful house he ever saw, it was a very large mansion made of dark grey stone and dark wood. It looked sturdy, old, yet inviting and Justin instantly felt drawn to it, sensing that there was more to this house than the front he could see.

"Brian, wow, who lives here?"

"We do…" As Brian said this he took Justin's hand and pulled him further towards the house, effectively ending all of Justin's complaints and questions.

Once inside, Justin couldn't help himself he had to wander around. While he did this, Brian's words from earlier were still in his mind but he had come to the conclusion that Brian must have intended this house for an office space, what a shame, he could see himself living here, painting here, playing with Gus here. Not in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined to find something like this so close to the city, least of all Liberty Avenue.

When he got back from his tour through the five rooms downstairs to meet Brian in the entry, he was not prepared for what happened next.

"So, what do you think?"

"Well I think it may be a little too much of a home space to be transformed into a well functioning office space."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Brian didn't know what to think, did Justin really not understand what he was talking about or did he just play dumb to let him off easy.

"I have no intention of turning this into an office space, with the exception of the study of course, however, it does come with large windows on the second floor which could easily be formed into a workspace for you." If Justin was going to let him down easy, he would have to tell him face to face, he wouldn't lose him again.

" What?, you mean, when you said 'we live here' you weren't talking about Kinnetik?"

"No I wasn't! I was talking about you and me and Gus! I know we would have to make some changes, but I just don't think that the loft will be big enough for the three of us in the long run…"

He couldn't finish that sentence as his mouth met that of Justin who had thrown his arms around him and was kissing him passionately. Brian was overwhelmed with emotion, having Justin in his arms felt so right, so right that he didn't want to let him go ever again so when he they both had to stop for air, he looked into Justin's eyes and said words that he would never have dreamed of before.

"Marry me!"

Justin couldn't believe what he was hearing, had Brian Kinney just asked him to marry him? Brian-fucking-I-don't-believe-in-love-or-commitment-Kinney? Brian saw all that play down in Justin's eyes so he felt like he needed to reassure him.

"Justin Taylor, I love you! Will you marry me?"

"Yes! Oh God yes I will marry you!"

When Brian heard Justin's enthusiasms and saw his smile break out, he couldn't control himself any longer, he grabbed Justin and they both tugged on their close with a need to feel the other mans skin.

**The End**


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